Letting Your Kids Be Bored

Let's talk about boredom.

As the days of social distancing continue, there is no doubt that we've all heard this phrase a few times or more: "I'm bored!!"

In our house, the rule is Tell me that you’re bored and I’ll tell you what you can clean...

Nothing scares away boredom like the threat of chores.

But is there a phrase that rankles parents more? Or that makes us want to launch into a tirade of, "In my day, we didn't have Switch or Disney+ or Netflix or TOYS. We played outside, in the snow, without boots, with nothing but sticks and stones as entertainment."

Right?  

Let's face it - the longer this goes on, boredom is going to settle in (if it hasn't already) and it's going to settle in hard. We're a society that is used to be over-scheduled and overstimulated. We fly around from school to work to swim lessons to play rehearsals to soccer to gymnastics to dance class to tutors to art workshops to violin or piano or voice lessons, all with our phones in our hands and our emails or text messages at the ready. We're plugged-in, informed, wired, networked, hooked-up, installed, linked, and streaming. Good or bad, right or wrong, we're a society that values being busy.  

And now, we're all being told to STOP. We're quitting the busy race cold-turkey. 

So, are the kids bored? Yep. I bet they are. As adults, we might be bored too, or at the very least a little at a loss for what to do with all this time in the absence of sports and activities, the gym and appointments. 

Kids are used to having zero down-time. Their days are usually so full, there isn't time to be bored. And, when kids aren't scheduled, they're often plugged-in, being entertained by a myriad of technological devices. There isn't a whole lot of time for children to learn how to entertain themselves - which will lead to this:

I'M BORED!! ENTERTAIN ME!!!

Before you let this phrase (even if said in the sweet, adorable voice of the little people you love more than anything in the world) strike fear into your toes, I'm going to tell you a secret (okay, not such a secret because you all already know this):

It is okay to let your child be bored. 

I'm gonna say it again: It is okay to let your child be bored. In fact, I give you permission to do nothing when your child tells you that they're bored (you can blame me if they complain). You are not solely responsible for their entertainment all the time. In fact, kids need boredom. Being bored is really, really good for them. 

Why is boredom so great for kids? Well, it leads to creativity and increases imagination; encourages kids to explore their own interests; and, can increase motivation for tasks, especially when they are tasks of a child's choosing. Boredom helps to build frustration tolerance, it's tough to be bored and have to figure out what to do and how to do it; it fosters problem-solving. And it promotes mental health by quieting the mind, providing time for daydreaming (which isn't actually a bad thing at all)' learning about oneself and increases confidence as kids realize just how much they can do!

I love this thought from Dr. Vanessa Lapointe: 

“Children need to sit in their own boredom for the world to become quiet enough that they can hear themselves. It is only when we are surrounded by nothing that something comes alive on the inside. Children need to sit in the nothingness of boredom in order to arrive at an understanding of who they are.”

Another benefit? When kids are taking responsibility for their entertainment, they give parents time and space. And there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, parents need time and space away from their kids to be good parents. I love my sons, but I can't be with them every second of the day. Sometimes, I just need...well...time and space (preferably with a cup of tea, chocolate, and a good book).

Need more convincing? Check out the links at the end of this post on the benefits of boredom. 

So, how to get started? First, next time the pint-sized (or in my case taller than me) loves of your life say, "I'm bored" resist the urge to solve the problem for them. Instead, encourage your child to figure it out, in a safe and productive way (making a fort out of blankets in the living room? Great! Creating a zip-line for an upstairs bedroom window? That's a no!). Try not to turn instantly to technology as the solution. And, let your children see you being bored. Boredom is a part of life that we all need to learn to work with (maybe without pulling out our phones). The next time your teen rolls their eyes and says, "Gawd!! You are soooooo boring" take it for the compliment that it is and own it..."That's right! I am boring and you know what? It's good for me!!"

If your kiddos need a little boredom jump-start, why not create a Boredom Jar! It's easy: write a bunch of ideas on little pieces of paper, one idea per paper. Next, place all the papers in a jar or container. When your child dares to utter, "I'm bored" have them select a paper from the jar. Their task is to complete the activity written down. If you're feeling generous, let them pick two pieces of paper and choose between the activities suggested.

This morning, I challenged Ben and Nicholas to come up with a list of ideas for their own jar.

Do they look thoughtful or silly?

It didn't take long to brainstorm all of these:

Play Lego

Read, read and read some more

Build a puzzle

Play with a pet

This guy is always happy to play!

Write in a journal

Go outside

Do an activity book

Exercise

Brush the dog

Play a board game

Make a fort

Do a math problem

Do a puzzle

Bake some cookies

Ride your bike

Climb a tree

Play catch

Invent something out of recycled objects

Make a stop-motion video with clay or play dough

Make a sensory walk

All you need is chalk!

Do a treasure hunt

Pull weeds

Play your favorite playlist

Play instrument

Call/Facetime a friend

Do a science experiment

Make a list of things to do when you're bored

Color and draw

Meditate and do yoga

Play a card game

Read from a joke book/Create a new joke

Create limericks and poems

There once was a man...

Create a secret code or language

Sing-along to your favorite tune

Turn on some music and have a dance party

Do a random act of kindness

Play basketball

Make up a skit

Play with stuffed animals 

Learn about first aid

Catch a frog or bugs

Or snake!

Make a card for your neighbor

Write a letter to your teacher

Start a garden

Invent a game

Measure stuff with a ruler 

Pick up branches in the yard

Make clothing/house/vehicle out of cardboard

Dress-up in a costume

Make something with duct tape

Have a pillow fight

Do a craft 

And the brainstorming sparked an interest for them both. Right now, they are busy in the basement creating armor out of cardboard boxes while envisioning themselves as Knights of the Round Table. I've already been asked for coconuts (clippity-clomp, clippity-clomp).

Call him Sir Nicholas

Need more ideas? Do a Google Search for Boredom Busters or Bored Jars or check-out ideas on Pinterest. A quick search led me to these:

29 Boredom Busters Your Kids Will Actually Love

Bored Jars

80 Ideas for Your Bored Jar

And remember...when all else fails, there are always chores.

xo Naomi



Resources:

5 Ways Boredom Makes Your Kid More Awesome

Boredomtunity: Why Boredom is the Best Thing for our Kids

Why You Should Do Nothing When Your Child Says, "I'm Bored."