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Mr. Popularity

Nicholas is Mr. Popularity. Good grief. What do I do with that?

Nicholas is our little friend-maker. He can talk to anyone, and other children seem to gravitate towards him. Kids just like him. Case in point: Recently, when I was in the boys’ school volunteering, a child in one of the kindergarten classes asked me if I was a mommy.

“I am,” I replied. “I have a boy in grade one named Ben, and my youngest son, Nicholas, is in the other kindergarten class.”

Suddenly, a chorus of little voices circled the table:

“I know Nicholas!”

“I know Nicholas too!”

“Nicholas was on my t-ball team!”

“I played soccer against Nicholas last week.”

“I saw Nicholas in the hall yesterday.”

And on it went until one boy piped up with a voice of authority to end the conversation:

“Well, my mom is friend’s with Nicholas’ mom (that’d be me!) so I know Nicholas best.”

True story.

I love that my child is well-liked, but this is not something I have any experience with. I was not popular in school. Far from it.  I had a whole lot of trouble finding a place to fit. And Pierre says he was too shy to be popular, though I suspect that he is just being modest. Truth be told, I don’t put a whole lot of stock in being popular (says the girl who was not!). It’s too fleeting and flimsy to be important. It’s only as an adult that I’ve realized the utter importance of cultivating strong friendships. Oh, the things I would tell my 16 year-old self given the chance.

So, I want my little social butterfly to use his friend-making superpowers for good, not evil. To include others, to spread kindness. Look, I know that this is a lot to ask of a five-year-old, but kindness is not just a quality; it’s an upbringing. And considering that Nicholas’ favorite Star Wars character is Darth Vader, he could easily succumb to the Dark Side. Don’t believe me? How about this:

A few weeks ago, while waiting at the bus stop, an SUV drove by. As it passed our street, a little head poked out the window yelling, “Nicholas! NICHOLAS!! Hi Nicholas! Hi!!!”

“Who was that?” I asked.

Nicholas gave me a shrug, “Who knows, Mommy. Maybe I’m famous.”

Famous or infamous?

DSC00034

Don’t trust this face.

Need another example? A week ago, Pierre and I left the boys at our local YMCA for a free Parent’s Night Out (Thank you, thank you, thank you!). Benjamin and Nicholas played games with their favorite sports’ coach in the gym, while Pierre and I enjoyed a dinner out with friends. The next day, Nicholas had a complaint:

“You know Mommy, the big boys in the gym weren’t kind to me.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, they wouldn’t let me be the goalie in their hockey game. Maybe they don’t know how awesome I am.”

No need to work on this kid’s confidence.

Truth be told, I think other kids like Nicholas because he is kind. So, we’ll keep that momentum going. We’re working on random acts of kindness this holiday season. More on that to come on that.  All I’ll say for now is: THANK YOU PINTEREST! I have no qualms about stealing others’ great ideas.  Is that kind?

xo Naomi

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